December 26, 2005

One Tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor!

From the simplest of minds spins the most outrageous of tales. As simple as I am, you know this shit will be good....

It all began on a Friday night. The munchkins were safely tucked in, and I thirsting adventure, decided to chat with the trucker princess. The tales spun merrily on each side of the phone, until one in particular had caught me ear. So there she was, drunkenly minding her own business, busily driving through Youngstown on her way back to Michigan (not to be mistaken for Mumbleshanks) from PA. She was pulled over for her hasty ways, and made to take the sobriety test by the local 50.

She mentioned that she has a problem drinking, driving, and wearing clothes all at the same time. Wisely choosing only the two which make the story most interesting, the clothes had to go. Now whether or not it is the custom in the town of young, I have not yet confirmed. But it seems that the trucker princess was completely naked whilst taking this sobriety test. One can only imagine what sites and thoughts occurred on the side of the freeway that night, though I am very surprised to not have seen this one on an episode of Girls Behaving Badly.

Then Saturn's eve had finally come, and with it a visit from my Dark Angel. As usually occurs, The Lively One accompanied her. And in the company of The Lively One, a dude du jour. A fireman in training, and it seems that The Lively One was ever so interested in playing with his hose. There was an interesting mixture of alcohol for certain. Tequila, Firewater, and Smirnoff do not work well as chasers for each other, but it was attempted none the less.

The Lively One had made a statement when myself and the fireman were moving a table out from the wall so that all four of us could eat at it. She gasped and put her hands to her cheeks, and said, "Ohhhh look, men being strong." Not to be outdone, I soon found something ultra intelligent she was attempting, and made my remark. "Oohhh look, girls being smart. s-m-r-t. There was laughter through out the adobe.

Having set quite a romantic nest within my bedroom, as the candles dimly burned, something occurred that has neither happened before, nor since. For as impossible as it may seem to you my darling readers and even I myself, your dashing narrator was struck completely and totally speechless. And we have The Dark Angel, and some Tequila to thank for that.

As it seems that this young maiden of the abyss had possibly never gazed upon herself naked in a mirror before, whilst candlelight gently danced upon her. And while peering into her young delicate reflection, she made a remark that was possibly inner dialog that the tequila had set free, but it came out none the less. "Damn.....I got big ole boobs!" She proudly proclaimed of herself. Alls a man can do at this point, is nod and smile.

Needless to say, myself, The Dark Angel, and her big ole boobs had quite alot of fun that Saturn's eve. But that is a story for another time, I am certain. The day of the moon came so fast, it seems as only yesterday she was in my arms.

The fireman in training had sent an imploring email, wanting copies of the pictures that I had taken of he and the lively young maiden. So, the electrons spun off, in a direction they had never before taken. As it appears that his email is This email address begs so many questions, most of which I would not want answered, I am certain.